My mother was an odd bird. She would constantly check her horoscope in the daily paper. My childhood home was filled with Sydney Omar’s yearly astrology books and Linda Goodman’s book of Love Signs. My mother more than believed in psychics and she even fancied herself a bit of a predictor of the future with her very own set of Gypsy fortune telling cards. As a child, I can recall sitting in the dining room with an Ouija board sitting on the knees of my Godfather and myself as we looked for answers to our deepest questions.

 Now, it is a known fact that after Lincoln was shot, Mary Todd went searching for her husband’s ghost. Mary Todd consulted with every known Ghost Whisperer hoping to catch a small word or phrase from her beloved Abe.

I think my mother did the same thing.

After my father’s death, she really became a recluse. She forced my sister and me into her self-induced home imprisonment. Part of it was due to the fact my mother was so afraid to lose us. The other part was she didn’t want to raise us alone. She signed up for a dual partnership. Even if my parents got divorced; it still would have been the two of them raising us. But with my father’s death, it was all beats off. She was, rightly so, pissed.

I think she turned to psychics, her tarot cards, and the Ouija board all in the hopes of guidance from my dad. She needed a sign that she wasn’t as alone as she thought. My mother needed someone to tell her we would all be okay.

When she died, I did the same thing. I went looking for both of my parents. I needed a sign I was doing the right things. I was too young and ill prepared to deal with sudden adulthood. So, I looked for my mother in all the same places she looked for my dad. I never found her; just as she never found my dad.

I gave up looking in all those places. However, I still carry one tradition. I read the horoscopes. Most times I can relate them to my life and in times of great stress, I have been known to rely on horoscopes to give me hope that whatever horror I’m facing will soon pass.

But, what about astrological signs?

Can our personalities really be dictated by when we were born?

I don’t think our personality can be completely based on astrology, but I do think it helps.  Here is the website I was using today to learn about me. For the most part, it was right. But I don’t know if everything I am can be determined by when I was born and in what month.