I hate when I get like this. I can feel myself all keyed up. I have twenty seven ideas zooming in my head and I want answers to all of them right now.

Or maybe this is just how it feels when I am finally doing the thing I was supposed to be doing all along?

I am in the process of trying to settle down exactly how I will marry my two loves…writing and Gettysburg.

But in the mean time my mind is all over the place.

I have been in a writing slump. I think everything I write is horrible and I should just give up. Every short story or novel I tried to begin sounded like a dumb idea.I have been reading those dumb Sookie Stackhouse books just to keep myself from sleeping the day away.

Now, I have this great idea forming in my head and I am not too sure where it will go or anything, but….

As an artist there is always that constant struggle of do I make a quick buck or do I write what I want to write? I think for me the only thing I can write is something that I believe in. When I write about things I love or care a lot about, I think my voice and passion come out the best. Those are the things that make me a good writer. Sure, I could “cash in” on my horrific childhood and I could use my life to make money. But I don’t think my life should ever really be for sale. I want to write about the things I love. I want to write about Gettysburg and Lincoln. I would be so honored if my name was on a book jacket with Gettysburg.

So, now I am doing the research and trying to get my focus just right. Although I feel like this unemployment has been a curse, maybe I need to see it for the blessing I can turn it into. Sure, I don’t have a lot of money to travel and do the things I really want to do. But then again, do I?

I have nothing but time on my hands…so why not use that time to research and settle in.

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