Throughout my childhood, my mother always consulted the daily paper not for the current news or anything like that. No, she read the daily horoscopes. It was no wonder that I grew up with the same inclination towards seeing what the stars had in store for me that day.

 

I am not saying I totally believe horoscopes. But I do believe everything happens for a reason. At night I pray for a sign to tell me what I need to do or where I need to go. This is not news to anyone who follows my blogs, but I thought I would just through it out there for any new readers. Anyhow, sometimes that sign can be the written word followed by how many stars your day will have in it.

 

I have this new plan in my mind. I wanted to seriously look at myself and see the thing that I most want to be and where I want to go. In my head, I am a college professor with a budding literary career. I am in a city and I am surrounded with people I feel love me (there is a difference, by the way, between people who love you and who you feel loved by). I gather strength from that love and that strength feeds my own unquestionable strength. I become unstoppable.

 

So, I go online, killing time before the next appointment, and I go looking at my horoscope. This is what it says:

 

“There are some things that you want, some things that you fear. Perhaps you even fear the thing you want? Whatever else you need to be now, you do not need to be afraid. Nor do you need to be apologetic. You are entitled to a sense of strength and certainty. No matter how worried you may be or how intense your emotions may seem, there is no reason to shrink back or start undermining your own authority. The world is full of people who have made questionable choices. Still, things have turned out well for them – as they yet will for you.”(http://www.cainer.com/)

 

 

Truer words were never written.

 

I am afraid of going after this new life. But my old life wasn’t very happy. I had some great times, no doubt…but overall…I know it isn’t where I need to be right now.

 

How funny that my horoscope tells me to not be sorry or afraid! Aren’t they the two things I am always saying and doing?

 

The end line is the clincher for me…things will turn out well for me. How could they not if I am doing what I want to do? How much happier will I be going after what I want to do?

 

I had a lot of false starts. But this time, I feel like my mind is finally clearing up. The rabbit hole is starting to slow down. I am making MY plan and I can feel myself gathering courage and strength.

I am reclaiming my name again

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