I have noticed another crazy trend in my life. There are these two ex-boyfriends in my life that, for some reason, have this nasty habit of being strangely mean to me.


Okay, maybe I should clarify, the one I don’t know if I can actually call him an ex because, even though he swears he broke up with me in 9th grade, I never heard him say it. I would think that if you want to break up with someone you should say it in a way that they actually hear it. A letter is surely cowardly, but at least there is no question of the intent and you can express yourself freely without having to actually sit there and hear the person cry as their heart breaks and shatters. But still, I think we are technically still dating which can perhaps explain the meanness. However, I digress.


Let me give you some examples of what I mean.


Example One:

So, it was his birthday and I thought I would do the polite thing and say, “Happy Birthday.” Well, the email I got back was “who are you talking to?” I took that as him saying that with his head shaking in that, “oh no you didn’t” and finger waving (you know what I mean). So I fired back with, “not you meanie pants”. Sure, I went there; I pulled out the fifth grade taunt of “meanie pants” but I was backed into a corner. I had no choice really.


The story isn’t over. I see this person on an instant messenger thing, so I hit him up and I’m like “dude, someone is using your name”. I thought I was being helpful. No, see, it was him. No one was using his name. Then he told me to have a drink and things aren’t that serious.


I agree, sometimes life isn’t that serious and we need to brush things off. But I didn’t think I did something out of line. I was just trying to be nice. I didn’t understand the open hostility.


It would be okay if this was just one episode, but it wasn’t.


Example Two:

Then there was this strange grammar war we got into and I seriously don’t understand why. Once again I was just being, what I thought was, nice and sweet. I just made a nostalgic comment and in return I got a fight. I finally got so fed up with it; I called him out on it. I was like “what did I do to you that makes you want to just pick fights with me?” In return I got the go get a drink comment and life isn’t that serious.


The why are you seriously picking fights with me?


Example Three:

Am I a dude? Do guys really talk about their sex-apades with each other? I know girls do, but I always thought guys were more reserved with that stuff. Like they may say, “sure, I hit that shit”. But that is about it. I didn’t think they went into details.


So then why does my ex tell me details? Did I grow a penis overnight? I will gladly give up PMS and my period.


Example Four:

Telling me such mean shit I don’t even want to say right now (protect the “innocent” and all that). Basically it is about our failed relationship and all the things I did wrong.


First I need to know why I keep these people in my life. I think part of it is these guys meant a lot to me and they are part of my history. I don’t like loosing people from my life, so I hold onto those I can. Also, I guess I hope that they will change and stop being so mean. Maybe if I showed them kindness, then they could show it to others?


Is it because I did something wrong? Are they mad because I got over them? I am not being so egotistical and saying that they are still in love with me and my moving on hurts them. I don’t think that is it. I don’t think they have those feelings for me (and I would even argue that they never did). But is it more like they don’t want me and they don’t want anyone else too, either?  Are they mad because they can’t control me and they aren’t my “number one” anymore?


Seriously, what did I do to make these guys so damn mean? Or were they always mean and love made me blind?