Dear Coach:


Please do not send me those 25% off coupons. I know that the last time you sent me one of those coupons, I spent a good six hundred bucks. I always stop by when I am in the mall and just look and say hi. You know, see how you are doing. See what’s new and what is this season’s must haves and all that. We are good friends, Coach. I mean, we have been together since about 1993 and for me that is a long friendship. 


But Coach, seriously, I can’t be dropping money like that anymore. I only spent that much money because it was my Christmas gift to myself. I worked hard and I deserved a new hand bag. I needed sunglasses (which I can’t find anymore). Of course I needed that new wallet to go with the new bag. So, as you see, they were all really important purchases.


I don’t have it like that any more, Coach. I have to save for the summer and for my spring break trip to Chicago. I want to take a writing course in the summer as well. I have plans for my money Coach. My plans don’t include you.


Also, it’s not like your spring collection is all that this year. I can honestly say there is not one item I have seen yet that made me stop and say, “Mine”.


However, 25% off is really nice. I guess I could always use another bracelet that I won’t wear. I do need a new belt. Maybe…


See Coach, you do this shit on purpose. You know I can’t really resist a sale! Ugh! How dare you!


See ya next week.