Last night I had another odd dream. This time I was at some job. Like I was in retail at a store and it was the summer. However, we were selling Halloween stuff (I know nothing like rushing the season). Well, there was this little mystical thing and I was asking it questions. I asked if you loved me and it said that you didn’t but it didn’t matter. Then I heard the intro to that Bright Eyes song “When the Curious Girl Realizes She is Under Glass”.

 

I freaked out because why that song? What does this mean? I don’t usually listen to Bright Eyes because of the memories and honestly…it’s you. I here you in his voice and I can’t listen.

 

But why that song? Am I under glass?

 

Of course I went and looked up the lyrics to the song. For those of you unfamiliar with the song, here are the lyrics:

 

“Tomorrow when I wake up Im finding my brother

And making him take me back down to the water

That lake where we sailed and laughed with our father

I will not desert him. I will not desert him

 

No matter how I may wish for a coffin so clean

Or these trees to undress all their leaves onto me

I put my face in the dirt and then finally I see

The sky that has been avoiding me

 

I started this letter, Im going to send it to Rube

It will be blessed by her eyes on the gulf coast of Florida

With her feet in the sand and one hand on her swimsuit

She will recite the prayer of my pen

 

Saying, “Time take us forward, relief from this longing

They can land that plane on my heart, I dont care

Just give me November, the warmth of a whisper

In the freezing darkness of my room”

 

But no matter what I would do in an attempt to replace

All the pills that I take trying to balance my brain

I have seen the curious girl with that look on her face

So surprised she stares out from her display case”

 

I wasn’t listening to this song before I went to bed. I wasn’t humming it or anything, yet there it was in my dream. It haunted me so much I remembered it was in my dream.

 

Now that I am awake and it’s morning, I wonder why is this song still with me?

 

I read and reread the lyrics. Who is sending me this message that I can’t decipher. Is it another part of me? What does that part know?

 

I will take the song in parts and give it my best shot. If you think of something different or if you see another aspect, let me know. I am just making a shot in the dark.

 

The first part:

I haven’t talked to my sister in a while. But the lines about the father and not being deserted really perk my intuition. The only things I know about my father is the writer. Maybe I am not supposed to abandon that part of myself.

 

The second verse:

I’m not going to die until God says so.

 

Third and forth verse:

I have written a powerful letter and maybe the intended person has read it. Maybe we both need time to heal us and move us along. We both need to hold on to the good things and let all the bad things go. I can’t be so afraid anymore and neither can you.

 

The last stanza:

I have been living my life under glass. I don’t let people in. I won’t let people hurt me. I will watch and act, but as far as letting someone completely into my heart…not too much. But now, it looks like I have been called out and that is why I am so surprised. Or I am surprised that I am under glass.

 

Again, maybe I am just being a complete fool and it means nothing at all that this song was in my head. It could just be a random thought filtered in. But why? I don’t want to believe it was in my head for no reason. Everything happens for a reason.

 

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