If you are a Jesus and or God freak, this is probably the blog you will want to go ahead and skip. I am sure I will offend you. My life, as Hughes said, ain’t been a crystal stair and as I keep climbing, I have come to see God in my own way. I know the God freaks will disagree, but that’s fine. You keep your God and I have mine.


That’s enough fair warning.


Seriously, if you keep reading, you are going to get mad.


Go to the next one.


Okay, my rant on God.


First I would like to say that nothing pisses me off more then when people started not capitalizing God or any pronoun that refers to God. When did this start happening? Who is that lazy that they can’t just hold down the shift button?


Anyhow, through the magic of a social online network, I saw that someone I used to know still can’t seem to find the shift button when using the pronoun I. Back in the day, the rumor was that this person was being like e.e. cummings (who I hate by the way because of his complete and childish misuse of grammatical rules) and “putting it to the man”. The real reason was the person was just lazy and didn’t capitalize the pronoun.


Now, through the power of enlightenment, the new reason is that we should only use the capitalization of the pronoun I when speaking about God. It is too conceited to capitalize the pronoun when talking about one’s self.


Keep in mind that any mention of God puts me immediately on the offensive. I put up a wall and refuse to hear anymore. My God has two forms. One is the Jewish Grandfather with a long story and plenty of hard candy in his argyle sweater vest. The other is a big black woman from the South.


I came to these ideas because I had a hard time with the God in the Bible. I couldn’t get my mind around a God that would be so angry with a little girl that He would take her parent from her. Hence the Jewish Grandfather was born. He would sit her down, tell her a long story, and then hand her a piece of candy. While the candy whorled around in her mouth, she would then start understanding why God did what He did. The Jewish Grandfather would then put up his index finger and say, “Ah ha”.


I couldn’t understand that God in the Bible who, a few years later, would let that same little girl watch her mother die. That same little girl had to tell the doctors to take the woman who gave birth to her off of life support. Hence the big black woman from the South was born. She sat down next to that mini-adult and said, “Child, looky here. Your momma has been called. My plan is for both of you and I needed her up with me. I will take care of you and keep a close eye on you. But you is strong, I made you that way. You’ll need that strength later.”


So I am sorry that my God isn’t like yours. It is a selfish view, but it is the one I needed to take to handle my life lessons. Forgive me for that.


When I saw that comment, the pronoun one, my first reaction was, “so, you did loose your mind, Trust and believe if I see it, I will surely send it right back to you.” But then, I started really thinking about it. My God would beat my ass if I used a pronoun with Him (Her…depending on the day). Sure…sure, I broke my own rule in yesterday’s blog when I used You to stand for God. I just was so afraid to call God’s name I had to use the pronoun and, well, hide.


Pronouns are for us. God’s name is for God. By using pronouns, we aren’t saying we are better then God. We are just hiding. We are protecting ourselves (stop me if you heard this one before).


Before I wrap this all up, I want to say this. I am in no way making fun or belittling this person or his or her beliefs. I wish I could have just an ounce of that person’s faith. All the struggles you went through and here you are on top. You have a wonderful home, spouse, career and loving children. I had nothing to do with your success, but I can’t help but feel proud. I wish I could believe as you do. I wasn’t made that way and God knows that if He ever had Jesus roll all up on me I would be freaked out and make a joke. That’s why God serves me my lessons directly.