No, Mr Nail Guy in the mall…you can not ask me a question. You see, I just got paid and my money is burning a hole in my wallet. I have to hit the Coach store and of course I have to look for new Dior foundation from Sephora. So, as you can see,I am much too busy for you to “magically wax” my thumb nail.

Oh, what’s that? I am so cute?

Well, you are so gay…so that makes you a huge liar.

Did they tell you that “flirting” with ugly chicks will make them want to stay and listen to your horrible English and even worse sales pitch?

No, freaky foreign guy, I don’t want to buy your stupid nail shit.

Here’s why.

First, your shit is stuff I could buy wholesale at BJ’s. You overprice it and no matter how cute the package is and how “awesome” of a deal you will give me because I am “such a cute girl”, your product is still pretty much shit.

Second, if I were to buy your stupid shit, I would never use it. Why would I give myself a home manicure? The whole purpose of a manicure is to have someone else do the work for you and have them speak a different language around you (they are also probably calling you a dirty whore as they smile at you and tell you to “pick color”)! Why would I buy your shit to just sit at home and do it myself?

Thirdly, just the fact that you insult me with your lies. I hate liars and I won’t help you put food on your table.

Lastly, I just want to shop in the damn mall without you bugging me. I don’t want to show you my hand. I don’t want you touching me. If I do buy your shit, then you will never go away. If I avoid you, I have a shot of making you move on to a different mall.

As you can tell, I went to the mall today and got harrassed by the nail people. I am not a person who wonders aimlessly around the mall. I have a plan and I just want to get to my store, get my stuff, and get away from the mall as quick as possible. However, this one guy was hounding me. Finally I was like, “Dude, I have to shop and I am not buying your stuff.” I hate being rude, but I just really want to be left alone.

I even went onto the second level of the mall to avoid seeing the guy again. But don’t you know what I saw when I took my last step on the stairs?

Of course it was another nail stand and all I could here was a foreign chick’s voice asking if she could ask someone a question.

They are like a fungus.

We can’t get rid of them.